Don’t Ask WYE – Issue 59 – How asking the wrong question can hurt

“There are no stupid questions,” said the person who has not been asked enough stupid questions.

We have an entire half of our show dedicated to questions and I can assure you, friends, there are plenty of stupid questions. There are also lazy questions or questions that get asked out of a sense of obligation. For example, you have a friend going through a rough patch and they just don’t seem themselves. You may think asking “Are you doing alright?” is going to let them know you care and want to help.

Nope.

Quite the opposite.

Back in 2012 Justin started a series on his blog about Critical Incident Stress Debriefing and how he sees his recovery laid out in the songs and videos by the band OK GO. The first post addresses today’s issue perfectly.

From the song:

Quit acting so friendly.
Don’t nod don’t laugh all nicely.
Don’t think you’ll up-end me.
Don’t sigh, don’t sip your iced-tea.
And don’t say, “It’s been a while…”
And don’t flash that stupid smile.
Don’t ask me how I’ve been.

Don’t ask me to rehash all the things in my mind that have gotten me to where I am, offer me a distraction. Want to show me you care? Ask me if I’m caught up on that new show everyone is talking about. Ask me if I’ve heard the new song going viral or just flat out ask me to do something new.

This week we offer an odd alternative…Don’t ask me how I’ve been.